you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
