um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
