i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize