I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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