Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize