He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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