mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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