Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize