i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
