I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
