He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
