she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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