I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize