im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
