That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
