I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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