I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
