Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
