thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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