Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
