Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
