As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
