There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
