i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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