Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize