Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I need a beard to bite.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
