I faked an abortion last night.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
This beer is not sobering me up at all
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
