He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
