Sponge bath it is.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
