john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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