Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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