people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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