"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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