I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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