You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
