I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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