i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
