he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
