I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
