If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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