my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
