that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize