the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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