He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
