8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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