Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize