My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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