I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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