at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
