I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
