I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she told me i tasted like america
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
