Don't you send me to vm
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
is that a dick in a sweater?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
