I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So much rum. So many feels.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
