I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
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